Guys
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Also known as "A Little Smut Goes A Long Way" PWP ***Clean smut***


Guys... **Guys   
aka  
A Little Smut Goes A Long Way **

**ONE**   
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, late evening 

Lauren is rummaging through the closet. Kristin comes in and watches. 

Kristin- Ya know, all the stuff is gonna fall outta there and onto you if you don't stop tossing stuff around like that! 

Lauren- I'm looking for my sleeping bag. 

Kristin- Why are you... Never mind, I'm not gonna ask. 

Lauren (turns around to face Kristin)- Don't ya remember we told Laverne and Shirley that we were gonna have a pajama party? 

Kristin- I don't remember actually agreeing to that and I don't think Laverne did either. 

Lauren- Shirl agreed and I think it'll be fun. 

Kristin- Hold on right there just a second! "It'll be fun"? This "party" isn't gonna get crashed, is it? 

Lauren- So what if it is? 

Kristin- I don't have a problem with that. I just wanted to make sure that's what ya meant. (goes to the closet) Gimme space! I gotta find my sleeping bag! 

  
**TWO**   
night 

Shirley (coming in, carrying a sleeping bag and BooBooKitty)- Hi, girls! 

Kristin- Hiya, Shirl! 

Lauren- Hi!... Where's Laverne? 

Shirley- She's got a date. Someone she met on the bus, I think. 

Kristin- Guess it's just the three of us. 

Lauren- Four. You forgot to count BooBooKitty. 

Shirley- The last time I was at a sleepover, it was at Laverne's father's apartment and it got crashed by Lenny, Squiggy, and Hector. 

Kristin- Who's Hector? 

Lauren- Wasn't he the one with the hearts on his boxers? 

Shirley- That's the one. Seeing Hector in his shorts has to be the worst thing I've ever seen! 

The door flies open. Lenny and Squiggy come in. 

Squiggy- Hello! 

Shirley- Second worst thing. What're you guys doing here? 

Lenny- We heard you was havin' a party. 

Squiggy- So we decided to crash. 

Kristin- Gee, I wonder who coulda told them... (glares at Lauren) 

Shirley- On second thought, I should be home when Laverne gets there so she doesn't bring her date in. I'll see you girls tomorrow. (grabs her stuff and leaves) 

Squiggy (walks over to Kristin and makes her sit on the couch next to him)- That was easy gettin' rid of her. 

Kristin- Yeah, Lauren. (glares again) 

Lauren- What? Can't we still have a little party? 

Kristin- What kind did ya have in mind?... Never mind, I'm gonna go visit Shirl. See ya tomorrow, Squig. (she gets up and leaves) 

Squiggy- Well, this was no fun. I'm leavin'. (he gets up and leaves) 

Lauren- You guys had to crash? 

Lenny- Yeah, but we were sorta hopin' for an actual party. now, Shirl's gone, Kristin and Squig left... 

Lauren- Well, I'm not goin' anywhere anytime soon... I live here. Besides, I'll bet Kristin and Squig are over in your apartment. (sits on the couch, then sorta lays on it, kinda like on a therapist's couch) 

Lenny gauks at her for a moment and then realizes the point she was tryin' to make: "let's take the last train to Smutville". 

{Okay, sue me for having used that line twice!} 

  
**THREE**   
Laverne & Shirley's apartment 

Seems Shirley couldn't get back to herapartment without finding Carmine. Both are wearing robes over their PJs {don't fall in the gutter... yet}, sitting on the couch, nacking, almost like there was no tomorrow and (just like at the beginning of "The Robbery") everytime Carmine tries to lean her back she puts her knee in his gut. 

{Awe, that's just too much, let's go check on the others} 

  
**FOUR**   
boys' apartment 

Lauren won the bet: Kristin and Squiggy are in there. Well, they seem to be feeding each other strawberries... and there's a can of RediWhip on the table. 

{O-kay, I'm leaving! I don't wanna know what Squig does with whip cream, since we already know he does something with a "used bottle of honey"!} 

  
**FIVE**   
outside Lauren & Kristin's apartment 

}Okay, I'm gonna peek in first and see if it's safe... one moment please... ::opens door and stares in:: ...tick tock, tick, tock... ::turns from doorway::} 

Going back to the "The Robbery", remember at the beginning when Laverne comes in with Jake and they sorta flop onto the couch on Shirley and Carmine's laps? Well, think that without Shirley and Carmine... got that picture? Now, think of on of the five times Lenny rolled off the table behind the couch and that's what just happened. 

{And you thought you were gonna be able to step into the gutter to start on that road to the City of Smut} 

Lauren (looks down at Lenny, who's now lying on the floor)- So, how many times is that now you've rolled onto the floor? 

Lenny- Um... I lost count. 

Lauren- Are you gonna get up? I really don't feel like rolling onto the floor. 

Lenny- Why not? Ya have before. 

Lauren- You were holding me on the couch and ya moved your arm and I rolled off! 

Lenny (sits up and leans against the couch)- So, whadya think the others are doin'? 

Lauren- I dunno. Shirl probably went home and is now throwing a tea party for BooBooKitty. Squig and Kristin... well, that's a shot in the dark. 

There's a knock at the door. 

Lauren- Now, who could that be? 

Lenny- Yeah, at one o'clock at night, too. 

Lauren (kinda loud)- Who is it? 

O.S.- Laverne. 

Lauren- She must be locked out. 

Lenny- Yeah, she prob'ly tried to open her door with the rabbit's foot again. 

Lauren (kinda loud)- It's open. 

The door opens and Laverne comes in. 

Laverne- Would ya believe Shirl put the chain on the door?... (sees Lenny) Hi, Len... It's so weird, Carmine wasn't in his apartment... 

Lenny- I think you were a little off about the tea party. 

Lauren- I guess so. 

Laverne- Sounds like it's gonna be another cold shower for Carmine. 

Lauren & Lenny- Yup. 

Laverne- And lemme guess, Kristin and Squig are across the hall. 

Lenny- As far as we know. 

Laverne- Did I miss som'en? 

Lauren- Whadya mean? 

Laverne- Well... (notices Lauren's in her PJs) lookit yoU! 

Lauren- What me? 

Laverne- You're wearin' pajamas... and an L? 

Lauren- I made it and sewed it on myself. And it's a nightshirt and sweats, for your information. 

Laverne- Oh, pardon me. 

Lenny- They were gonna have party and me and Squig crashed, so we disbanded 

Laverne (gives him an odd look)- Disbanded? 

Lauren- Ask him the meaning of aardvark. (she smiles) 

Laverne- Anyway, do ya mind if I stay here till Shirl lets me in? 

Lauren- Sure, why not. 

Laverne- Thanks. 

Lenny- Maybe they got a Godzilla movie on TV. (he reaches over and turns it on) 

Lauren & Laverne- "Godzilla Eats Tokyo". 

Lenny- Either that or "Godzilla On Monster Island". 

Laverne- Don't mention that one, Len. 

Lenny- Why? Ya liked it before when we went to see it. 

{Uh oh} 

Lauren (rolls her eyes)- Oh, here we go... 

Laverne- I've seen that movie sixteen times! I can't take it anymore! 

Lenny- But the seventeenth time around makes it better... ya know all the lines! 

Lauren- You know all the lines, Len, you've seen if fifty times. 

Laverne gives her the "are you still here?" look. 

Lauren shoots her the "I live here" look. 

Lenny- Okay, okay, we'll watch som'en else, geez. 

Lauren (gets up)- I'm goin' to sleep. (she goes into the bedroom) 

Laverne- Guess I sorta crashed your party. 

Lenny- It was over before ya came in. 

Laverne- What'd ya do, roll off the couch? 

Lenny- How'd ya know? 

Laverne (rolls her eyes)- Lucky guess. (pause) I'm gonna go see if Shirl will let me in. (she leaves) 

Lenny turns the TV off. 

Lauren steps out from the bedroom. 

Lauren- She gone? 

Lenny- Prob'ly. 

Lauren (goes over to the end of the couch)- You gonna sit on the floor all night, or what? 

Lenny- It's not that bad down here. 

Lauren- Whatever you say. (she sits on the floor next to him) 

They start making out. 

  
**SIX**   
Laverne & Shirley's apartment 

Laverne tries her key and the door opens this time. She goes in and the room is pitch black except for the moonlight shining in through the window. She puts her coat in the closet, then goes into the bedroom. 

Shirley is tucking in her blankets. {Think the beginning of "Laverne & Shirley Move In"} 

Laverne- So much for your party, huh? 

Shirely- Yeah, but I guess it's all for the better. 

Laverne- You and Carmine were having your own party? 

Shirley (embarrassed)- heh, you must've come home too soon. 

Laverne- One in the morning is too soo, Shirl? Besides, I think it's a good thing cuz I broke up the party up on the fourth floor. 

Shirley- I bet the four of them were having a good time without me around. 

Laverne- I never saw Kristin and Squig. I think they were in the boys' apartment. I was talkin' about Lauren and Lenny. 

Shirley- Vernie, pardon me for asking a stupid question... 

Laverne- Okay. 

Shirley- ...but what does she see in him? I just can't figure it out. 

Laverne- You're askin' me? I dunno... well, he is sweet, but that's all I see. He makes up for what Squig lacks... except brains... they're both short in that department. 

Shirley- That's true. Atleast with Carmine, he's smart, caring, good-looking... 

Laverne- Stop it, Shirl, you're makin' me jealous. 

Shirley- Sorry. 

Laverne- Hey, remember when you and me went out with Fonz and that Richie kid? 

Shirley- Oh, yeah, Richie was nice. 

Laverne- Well, Fonz ranks higher than Elvis and Fabian put together... well, actually, that's a close one. 

Shirley- I'll take Fabian any day, thank you very much. 

Laverne- Great! An' I'll take Fonz and Elvis! 

Shirley- Why do you get both of them? Shouldn't I get Elvis, too, if you think Fonz is like the two together? 

Laverne- Yeah, but you only claimed fabian, so I claimed the other two... c'mon, Shirl, it ain't like this is real. 

Shirley- Yeah, you're right... How'd we get to Fonz, Elvis, and fabian anyway? 

Laverne- I don't remember... Hey, we oughtta go to sleep wile our thoughts of these great guys are still fresh! 

Shirley- Good point! (she hops on her bed and wiggles under the blankets) 'Night, Vernie. 

Laverne- 'Night, Shirl. (she turns off the light) 

Suddenly, there's a yell of "Geronimo", then an "ow-oo-ga", then a thud. 

{Huh, must be that number 35 from Fonz's list... but who knew that?" 

  


THE END :)~ 

  



End file.
